The Orange Rhino

What is an Orange Rhino? Well it is one very smart mother. Read on, I will explain.

I have a problem. Many people will never see it or experience it. I have a temper, and I yell. I am careful not to yell in public or around friends. I don't want them to think ill of me. But what am I doing? Constantly yelling at my husband and my child?

I know it's wrong, I know it is bad. I honestly don't know many good ways to express and/or deal with anger. It's possible that it runs in my family but that has always been my excuse. I was 'raised this way.' 'This is just who I am.'

But it isn't me.... if it were me I would not be consumed by guilt after every raged fueled outburst. I can hear part of me screaming in my head and I'm yelling "this isn't you, you can be more than this."

So here I am.... day 1.

Confession time

I swear... a lot. And 99% of the time it is AT my husband in anger.

I yell... a LOT. The littlest thing can set me off.

I am TIRED OF IT!!!!

I do NOT want C growing up with it. Maybe it is a blessing that he doesn't talk yet. He can't repeat my words :-(

I found this blog called The Orange Rhino. http://theorangerhino.com/

""Rhinos are tenacious and vigorous animals who are naturally peaceful, but display aggressive behavior when provoked.

Wow. That’s me alright, minus the vigorous piece. I definitely don’t have the mental strength or energy. If I did, I wouldn’t let myself charge with my “words” so frequently!  I am totally a Rhino. But I don’t want to be aggressive; I want to lose that and gain the vigorous part. I need more warmth and energy. Clearly, I need a little more of the color Orange in my life especially since it also conjures up feelings of determination which I am most definitely going to need more of in order to conquer this challenge.

So there you have it. I want to be The Orange Rhino.

I want to be a mom who has the energy and determination to forge ahead and parent with more composure and warmth and without the yelling!""

And here I am... day 1.