Exodus 14:14 NLT

"The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."

A lot has happened in our lives recently. A LOT of changes!! My husband has started his new job, and DAILY tells me how much he LOVES it! He was invited to join a bible study and to attend company parties and gatherings. He was instantly accepted and treated like a long time employee. His drive went from 50min (one way) down to 17 and it is a much easier drive. 

The second BIG change.... we found out we are expecting baby #2! At my first appointment we got to see the baby and hear the heartbeat. It always makes it that much more real hearing the baby for the first time. My due date, thankfully, was moved from late Jan to mid- Feb! I will take all the extra time I can get as my first was very nearly 3 weeks late! 

And finally next weekend another of my brother's-in-law, Nate, is getting married! What a crazy summer! And it isn't over yet! I wonder what else God has in-store for this family? 

OR 08

Ugh... well I did about 7 days without yelling. And hello day 8. Cam was clingy ALL day, it was late and Hubs brought up a push button topic. Sigh....

At least tomorrow will be better.

Tomorrow can always be better!!!


Why I do, what I do :)

OR Day 4

So last night was my first true test of not yelling.... I'm proud of myself I calmed down took 20 seconds but I only yelled No No No.

It was late at night and I felt frustrated that I was having to repeat information from the previous day.

I CAN DO THIS!!!!!

A reminder why I'm trying to get better :) My men!

The Orange Rhino

What is an Orange Rhino? Well it is one very smart mother. Read on, I will explain.

I have a problem. Many people will never see it or experience it. I have a temper, and I yell. I am careful not to yell in public or around friends. I don't want them to think ill of me. But what am I doing? Constantly yelling at my husband and my child?

I know it's wrong, I know it is bad. I honestly don't know many good ways to express and/or deal with anger. It's possible that it runs in my family but that has always been my excuse. I was 'raised this way.' 'This is just who I am.'

But it isn't me.... if it were me I would not be consumed by guilt after every raged fueled outburst. I can hear part of me screaming in my head and I'm yelling "this isn't you, you can be more than this."

So here I am.... day 1.

Confession time

I swear... a lot. And 99% of the time it is AT my husband in anger.

I yell... a LOT. The littlest thing can set me off.

I am TIRED OF IT!!!!

I do NOT want C growing up with it. Maybe it is a blessing that he doesn't talk yet. He can't repeat my words :-(

I found this blog called The Orange Rhino. http://theorangerhino.com/

""Rhinos are tenacious and vigorous animals who are naturally peaceful, but display aggressive behavior when provoked.

Wow. That’s me alright, minus the vigorous piece. I definitely don’t have the mental strength or energy. If I did, I wouldn’t let myself charge with my “words” so frequently!  I am totally a Rhino. But I don’t want to be aggressive; I want to lose that and gain the vigorous part. I need more warmth and energy. Clearly, I need a little more of the color Orange in my life especially since it also conjures up feelings of determination which I am most definitely going to need more of in order to conquer this challenge.

So there you have it. I want to be The Orange Rhino.

I want to be a mom who has the energy and determination to forge ahead and parent with more composure and warmth and without the yelling!""

And here I am... day 1.